Tuesday, April 8, 2014
John H. Gullett
This blog was set up to chronicle our experience with James. His defect, bringing him into the world and our journey to give him the best life possible. In the middle of his second hospitalization I received a phone call no person ever wants to receive.
"Daddy's gone"
Those are the words that will live with me the rest of my life.
I still can't comprehend my Dad being gone from this world. He was larger than life in every possible way. A big man with a big spirit.
I was honored to give his eulogy and would like to include it here. Some things I said from the pulpit and I may not remember them but here is what I said:
First I want to thank everyone for coming and supporting our family today. It really means the world to us.
I was asked to give his eulogy and had a really hard time. How do I put into words everything this man was to me?
Big John Gullett was born October 26, 1952 in Columbus, Ohio to James and Ethel Gullett. He was the second son and joined sisters Bertha and Judy and brother James the second. Not long after Jason and Jasper joined the family. As a young boy Daddy got sick quite a bit with strep throat and was in and out of the hospital. After a vacation to Jacksonville Beach my Pappaw decided he was moving his family to the warmer climate. No more Ohio snow for him and his family. So they sold their farm and settled into Jax Beach.
And while that's the story of his beginning my dad would be the first to tell you his life real began on the regular school day at Andrew Jackson High School in 1970 when a cute little redhead crossed his path. At one point we had a family newsletter and one month the family stories were "How We Met" so I'd like to read directly from that. My mother wrote:
"I remember sitting in my English class, which was the last period of the day, when a friend of mine who was sitting behind me said, 'Faye, you are being starred at'. I said, 'Not me!' I looked out the door and saw two guys looking through the glass in the door. I told her that they weren't starring at me. I didn't know either one of them.
After class was over I was walking down the hall to my locker when I head this voice say 'That's the one, that's the one I'm going to marry'. I looked at my reflection in the windows and saw John and his friend that was with him. I thought boy is he crazy! As I approached my locker this big guy stopped and asked me if I had any good books to read. I said 'yes, D-Day'. He told me if I gave him my phone number that he would shake up the phone tonight. I gave him my phone number and he asked me out. I told him no I couldn't date on a school night. I really was afraid to ask my dad. He didn't like us on the phone, much less going out. He asked me out several times and I kept saying no.
One day he told me he was going to Orlando to see his sister and if I gave him my address he would bring me back some oranges. I told him never mind, I didn't need any oranges. Well, he went to Orlando but didn't come back to school for a week. I guess I missed him not chasing me around anymore. At the end of the week I saw him on the second floor talking to another girl. That got my attention. Then I began to realize I really did like this big hairy guy. I guess I had missed him and didn't like seeing him with another girl.
I believe that it was a Saturday, my brother and I were going to a movie. His girlfriend lived about 3 blocks from John so I asked my brother if I could go down and see if John wanted to go with us to the movie. He said ok. I walked to his Dad and Mom's store but he wasn't there. As I was leaving he drove up in his Dad's '67 pick up truck. He looked so fine! He came up to me and I told him about going to the movie. He said he wanted to go and took me inside the store to introduce me to his parents. I walked over to his house to wait for him to take a shower and get dressed. He was in and out in 3 minutes! I was shocked! I guess he was excited. We went to the drive in movie and then to the beach. One the way back he kissed me and told me 'I think I love you'. I kissed him back and said 'I think I love you, too'. He was and still is a great kisser."
September 6, 1970 Big John made that cute little redhead his wife. Being married to his high school sweetheart wasn't enough for them so in 1971 they welcomed a beautiful baby boy. John the second. Daddy's pride and joy. Being a young husband and father wasn't easy but he worked hard to provide for his little family, a trait he carried on throughout his life and one he instilled in his children. 4 years later in September of 1975 Cassie Renee was born. He was so excited about a daughter that he would walk through the courthouse singing "Cassie Renee was born today". 2 years later in April 1978 Joshua Haney joined the crew. And 10 very short weeks after that Josh passed away. This was a blow to their hearts that to this day has never healed. They thought they were done with their family. But anyone that knows Casey knows she loves a party, especially a surprise party so in August of 1979 Casey Rebecca danced her way into their lives. In June of 1983 Mom and Dad were leaving to go to the hospital for #5 when Johnny "politely" told them "gain a son or lose a son!" Guess he was a little tired of us sisters. Luckily for Johnny, Joseph Hyrum made his grand entrance and his made his presence known ever since.
After working hard to provide for his growing family he noticed that "these guys in the title business must be making a lot of money" so at 21 years old he opened his first title company and a legacy was born. He wasn't happy just having a title company. He went on to teach his entire family about the title business.
He was a faithful member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Later-Day Saints. He had a strong unwavering testimony of Jesus Christ and his infinite Atonement. He enjoyed the temple and in October of 1978 he took his family to the Washington D.C. temple to be sealed. He served in many capacities. As a young men's president he had a young man not coming to church so he gathered all the young men on a Sunday and went to pick up that boy. That boy went on to become young men's president of that same ward. He loved serving everyone around him. He was a faithful priesthood holder and presided over our family. He baptized us and bestowed the priesthood to his sons, sons in-law and grandson.
He taught us many useful things. He taught us that if you are driving slightly above speed limit in your van while your spouse is asleep on the fold out couch in the back and you hit a railroad crossing at just the right angle, said spouse, in their sleep, will end up hovering over the bed while the van flies through the air. And when they hit back down and is awoken there will be a fight and therefore an opportunity to ask for forgiveness. Daddy taught us forgiveness in all things. Move forward. Don't linger on bad thoughts or feelings. It doesn't do anyone any good. Daddy was not one for grudges.
My dad taught me that even if you try really hard you will never get a Ford Extra Long Econoline van with a trailer on the back to go down Lombard Street in San Francisco without running over the perfectly manicured streets. He taught me he would always be my protector as I was scared to death of riding my first roller coaster and he said "don't worry, nobody's died on this all week." From my dad I learned about silver linings. To laugh. To find joy in everyday life. To wake each morning and make it a great day. He taught us every moment can be a teachable moment and everything that happens, good, bad or ugly, are just memories being made. That the knowledge you gain and the memories you make are going to be the only things you can take with you. He taught us family is the most important thing. He taught us how to love our spouse. If you were to open my dad's wallet you will find a picture of my mother from high school. That man is hopelessly in love with my mother.
Life in the Gullett home was never boring. Daddy was quite the prankster. I remember one year for April Fool's he told us we were moving to California. Johnny was so excited. We got all the way to the airport and were walking in when he finally said "April Fool's!" Johnny was not amused.
He was silly. The other day Jason and Georgia were on the way home when Georgia said "Pappaw has funny spiders at his house". Jason asked her what kind of spiders and she said she couldn't remember the name but the made a {insert farting noise here} sound. My husband asked "do you mean barking spiders?" Yes! She said. Barking spiders! This was his name for passing gas. He would say "did you hear that? that was a barking spider!"
Growing up with him as a sibling was also pretty fun. Uncle Jason said after dad got done with working on his car they took it to the Krystal's for crusin. As they were crusin through the steering wheel from Dad's car came right off. Without missing a beat he handed the steering wheel to my Uncle Jason and with his big smile said "here, you drive."
Family was the absolute most important thing to him. My mother was always first. We kids were second and then he became a proud Pappaw. He loved his grandkids so very much. He enjoyed each one for their unique personalities. At birth he had shirts made representing each one. He would wear them to the hospital the day they were born, the day they went home and every birthday. He even wore them to the graduation of some of the older grandkids. They are each wearing their shirts today to honor him. He found so much joy in being their Pappaw.
Besides our mother, his kids and grandkids he loved classic cars, motorcycles, traveling, sports, the Gators, going to Jaguar games with his kids and redheads.
My mother always said choose carefully the father of your children. She chose wisely for us. I know I speak for all of is when I saw how honored I am to be the child of this great man. Thank you mom for picking the man perfect for us.
I leave these thoughts with you in Jesus name, Amen.
Labels:
Eulogy,
Gullett,
John,
Pappaw
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Monday, March 31, 2014
After birth
The problem with blogging, or more accurately NOT blogging, is you get used to not blogging and then you have so much time to make up.
The last I blogged James was born. Today he is in his swing in our den at home sleeping. How did we get from birth with a breathing tube to the swing? Lots of blanks for me to fill. And I will. I hope you can bear with me. I want everyone to know his journey.
Once James was born all the doctors did their assessments and tests and determined him to be in good health, minus a small little life threatening heart defect ;).
Jason and I were thrust into a whole new world that we thought we were prepared for but you realize quickly how unprepared you really are. We learned about oxygen saturation percentages and heart rates and flow vs. liters and versed (and I'm not sure if that's how you really spell it).
During this initial assessment an echocardiogram was done and found James to NOT have Hypoplastic Left Heart if you can believe that! His left side was small but it was pumping! He was downgraded to critical aortic stenosis with a hypoplastic aortic arch. What does that mean exactly? Well, I don't know. Not exactly. But I got the jest of it. Aortic stenosis and mitral valve stenosis are the beginning factors of HLHS. Since James's mitral valve was not as bad as they originally thought. He still had many issues. When I say he was downgraded this isn't to mean he was ok by any stretch of the imagination. But now we had a few different options. We could continue on with the Norwood or we could try for a catheterization procedure to balloon open the aortic arch which would hopefully allow more blood flow through the arch and therefore allow the left ventricle to grow and keep him a two ventricle baby. Any time you can keep a child a two ventricle baby this is obviously the preferred method. But would Baby Brother be a good candidate for this procedure? The doctors would discuss it at Cath Conference on the next Monday morning.
I spent the weekend being wheeled between my room and James' room. Jason slept at James' bedside the entire time except for one night when my sister slept in the room with him. We got a room at the Ronald McDonald House and when I was released on Sunday I tried to settle in.
All of our family left by Sunday except for Jason's mom. She stayed with me. The plan was for her to stay with me the first week and my father in law to go back with Jason which would help Jason get the kids to and from school and just generally help out. They would come back the next weekend at which point they would all go back leaving me alone but only for a day or two when my in laws would be back for another couple of days before they had to leave to go back to England. They would leave on Thursday and Jason and the kids would come back on Friday and then my mom would come and spend week 3 with me. This would get me through the first surgery and some recovery time before having to be alone.
Monday morning at Cath Conference they decided James was a good candidate for the valvuloplasty of the aortic valve.
So James would go to the Cath Lab on Tuesday, January 7th.
The last I blogged James was born. Today he is in his swing in our den at home sleeping. How did we get from birth with a breathing tube to the swing? Lots of blanks for me to fill. And I will. I hope you can bear with me. I want everyone to know his journey.
Once James was born all the doctors did their assessments and tests and determined him to be in good health, minus a small little life threatening heart defect ;).
Jason and I were thrust into a whole new world that we thought we were prepared for but you realize quickly how unprepared you really are. We learned about oxygen saturation percentages and heart rates and flow vs. liters and versed (and I'm not sure if that's how you really spell it).
During this initial assessment an echocardiogram was done and found James to NOT have Hypoplastic Left Heart if you can believe that! His left side was small but it was pumping! He was downgraded to critical aortic stenosis with a hypoplastic aortic arch. What does that mean exactly? Well, I don't know. Not exactly. But I got the jest of it. Aortic stenosis and mitral valve stenosis are the beginning factors of HLHS. Since James's mitral valve was not as bad as they originally thought. He still had many issues. When I say he was downgraded this isn't to mean he was ok by any stretch of the imagination. But now we had a few different options. We could continue on with the Norwood or we could try for a catheterization procedure to balloon open the aortic arch which would hopefully allow more blood flow through the arch and therefore allow the left ventricle to grow and keep him a two ventricle baby. Any time you can keep a child a two ventricle baby this is obviously the preferred method. But would Baby Brother be a good candidate for this procedure? The doctors would discuss it at Cath Conference on the next Monday morning.
I spent the weekend being wheeled between my room and James' room. Jason slept at James' bedside the entire time except for one night when my sister slept in the room with him. We got a room at the Ronald McDonald House and when I was released on Sunday I tried to settle in.
All of our family left by Sunday except for Jason's mom. She stayed with me. The plan was for her to stay with me the first week and my father in law to go back with Jason which would help Jason get the kids to and from school and just generally help out. They would come back the next weekend at which point they would all go back leaving me alone but only for a day or two when my in laws would be back for another couple of days before they had to leave to go back to England. They would leave on Thursday and Jason and the kids would come back on Friday and then my mom would come and spend week 3 with me. This would get me through the first surgery and some recovery time before having to be alone.
Monday morning at Cath Conference they decided James was a good candidate for the valvuloplasty of the aortic valve.
So James would go to the Cath Lab on Tuesday, January 7th.
Labels:
ACH,
Baby Brother,
CHD,
HLHS,
James,
Jason,
stenosis
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Thursday, January 9, 2014
James David Clarkson
One week ago today James David Clarkson entered this world kicking and screaming!
I was taken into the surgery room and given my spinal and ready for baby to come. It was a normal surgical room with one difference. In the left corner of the room was a smaller room. Not much bigger than a walk in closet. In that room were a couple of people and a hospital room on wheels.
I was more terrified than I had ever been in my life. I have been through some pretty weird things in my life and some of them quite scary but this was more than I could emotionally handle. I cried many tears before walking into that surgical room. I knew as long as my baby was in my belly he was fine. I knew as soon as he came out the real struggle would begin. Would there even be a struggle? Is my baby as sick as Wolfson's says he will be? Would I ever hold him? See him take an actual breath? Hear him cry? Would I ever see his chest move up and down taking breaths? Would my baby be OK?
I remember people talking and buzzing around. It seemed to be taking forever. Then I heard the doctor say "Wow he's a big boy!" Jason popped up in the chair and looked over the sheet but James hadn't been pulled out yet. Then I felt them take him out of me. It was weird really. Almost like he didn't want to leave but was being forced out by suction.
Then I heard it. I heard him cry. I heard that sweet little voice I knew instantly belonged to my baby. If he can scream then his lungs are functioning! Jason popped up again and said "he looks bigger than Georgia was!" And then the most beautiful thing I've seen in a long time. A tiny little scrunched up face over the sheet. Only a couple of seconds but there he was. My sweet baby James. Crying! They took him down and got him over to the ICU team to start their part. One of them yelled from the little room "He's turning pink!" Turning pink means oxygenated blood was getting to his body. Something that happens in normal everyday babies. Not always the norm for Hypoplastic Left Heart babies. This was more good news!
Jason followed our son into the room and came back to tell me James was 7 pounds 14 ounces and I smiled. They wanted a big baby and that's almost 8 pounds so I thought I held up my end of the bargain. I looked at Jason and said "7.14?" and he said "No! 9 pounds 14 ounces!" What??? I just delivered an almost 10 pound baby? Holy cow! Jason just laughed and said yeah, 10 pounds! This, by the way, is his idea of a joke. He tried to tell me Georgia was a boy but he didn't realize the doctor had already said she was a girl. This time he got me.
Jason followed the team to the Cardiovascular Intensive Care Unit. They stopped by my head on the way out of the room so I could see him and see that he was calmed and stable. He did have a breathing tube which isn't great but it wasn't horrible either. He was alive. He was breathing. He was pink.
I haven't heard his sweet little voice since. The breathing tube makes it where he can't vocalize but hopefully soon it will be removed and we will be able to hear that sweet voice again.
I was taken into the surgery room and given my spinal and ready for baby to come. It was a normal surgical room with one difference. In the left corner of the room was a smaller room. Not much bigger than a walk in closet. In that room were a couple of people and a hospital room on wheels.
I was more terrified than I had ever been in my life. I have been through some pretty weird things in my life and some of them quite scary but this was more than I could emotionally handle. I cried many tears before walking into that surgical room. I knew as long as my baby was in my belly he was fine. I knew as soon as he came out the real struggle would begin. Would there even be a struggle? Is my baby as sick as Wolfson's says he will be? Would I ever hold him? See him take an actual breath? Hear him cry? Would I ever see his chest move up and down taking breaths? Would my baby be OK?
I remember people talking and buzzing around. It seemed to be taking forever. Then I heard the doctor say "Wow he's a big boy!" Jason popped up in the chair and looked over the sheet but James hadn't been pulled out yet. Then I felt them take him out of me. It was weird really. Almost like he didn't want to leave but was being forced out by suction.
Then I heard it. I heard him cry. I heard that sweet little voice I knew instantly belonged to my baby. If he can scream then his lungs are functioning! Jason popped up again and said "he looks bigger than Georgia was!" And then the most beautiful thing I've seen in a long time. A tiny little scrunched up face over the sheet. Only a couple of seconds but there he was. My sweet baby James. Crying! They took him down and got him over to the ICU team to start their part. One of them yelled from the little room "He's turning pink!" Turning pink means oxygenated blood was getting to his body. Something that happens in normal everyday babies. Not always the norm for Hypoplastic Left Heart babies. This was more good news!
Jason followed our son into the room and came back to tell me James was 7 pounds 14 ounces and I smiled. They wanted a big baby and that's almost 8 pounds so I thought I held up my end of the bargain. I looked at Jason and said "7.14?" and he said "No! 9 pounds 14 ounces!" What??? I just delivered an almost 10 pound baby? Holy cow! Jason just laughed and said yeah, 10 pounds! This, by the way, is his idea of a joke. He tried to tell me Georgia was a boy but he didn't realize the doctor had already said she was a girl. This time he got me.
Jason followed the team to the Cardiovascular Intensive Care Unit. They stopped by my head on the way out of the room so I could see him and see that he was calmed and stable. He did have a breathing tube which isn't great but it wasn't horrible either. He was alive. He was breathing. He was pink.
I haven't heard his sweet little voice since. The breathing tube makes it where he can't vocalize but hopefully soon it will be removed and we will be able to hear that sweet voice again.
Labels:
Baby Brother,
Cassie,
HLHS,
James,
Jason
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About
I am a regular everyday wife to Jason and mom to Christian and Georgia on a roller coaster ride. We are overjoyed to be welcoming a 3rd baby into our life. We feel blessed to be given such a special spirit in this 3rd baby. This is our journey to mend our baby's broken heart.
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